


Hate Unconditional

by tobequitefrank



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Explicit Language, High School, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Sickness, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-02-28 11:35:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18755650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobequitefrank/pseuds/tobequitefrank
Summary: Frankhatedhow fucking compliant Gerard was. How content he was with his annoying, nerdy life. How his stupid hands moved when he spoke, how his stupid hair fell from behind his ear no matter how many times he tucked it back, how perfect his nose was and gorgeous his eyes were. Frank had never hated someone so fucking much.--Or, the one where Frank's a 'cool' kid and doesn't understand why nerdy, teacher's pet Gerard doesn't seem to think so.





	1. Chapter 1

Frank knew that he was in trouble, more trouble than he had probably ever been in; that annoyed him some. But what annoyed him even more, was the fact his so-called friends had dobbed him in. They had all been a part of it, breaking into the school last night, drunk and trashing a few of the class rooms. The cops had come and everything. 

Heck, Frank wasn’t even the one who came up with the idea, he was more dragged along if anything. But for some reason, his whole group had decided to use Frank as the scapegoat, so now he was sat in the principal’s office, his parent’s standing with folded arms, shaking their head in disbelief. 

“We think that is the best course of action to take. He can take the bus with the other kid’s during the break. Give back to the community.”

“What? Like some fucking community service bullshit?” Frank had zoned out, only coming back into reality at the end of the conversation.

“Frank!” His father was reprimanding. “We don’t use that kind of language, especially not in school. And your mother and I think some community service will do you good, you need to get out and meet some other people. _Different_ people.” 

Frank knew his parents didn’t approve of the group of friends he had found at his new school, but it was half their fault for moving states during his adolescence. He’d only been there about six months, and the guys he had made buddies with were into the same type of shit Frank was – smoking pot and the type of music his parents hated that Frank listened to, mainly. But Frank was just glad he had been able to make any friends at all in the first place really, now realising that perhaps they weren’t actually that. “Fucking bullshit.” Frank muttered under his breath. 

“Alright then.” His principal clapped his hands together. “I will let the supervising teacher know, and Frank, if you don’t turn up, the police have recommended we look into trespassing charges, don’t make us do something we don’t really want to.” 

So, that was pretty much how Frank came to be sitting at the back of a bus, on his way to some sort of soup kitchen, on his fucking lunch break, where he would be helping out as a form of punishment for something that wasn’t really that big of deal in his eyes. He had his headphones in, music blaring, as he looked around the bus at the other kids who were so generously donating their time. 

Majority of them were also on some form of behavioural plan, Frank gathered. However, there were a few students Frank didn’t recognise, who he guessed must just have been suck ups and were just there on their own accord. The whole drive Frank watched the half bus full of other students, trying guess what they were either in trouble for, or what other square shit they liked to do in their spare time if they weren’t here as a form of punishment. 

Truthfully though, he had spent majority of it stuck on a boy with black hair who he couldn’t quite place. He had never seen him before in detention, and Frank had had his fair share of those, so he gathered he wasn’t here for his behaviour. Although, and now, Frank wasn’t one to stereotype, he didn’t really look the type to be here out of the goodness of his heart either. 

Eventually, the bus pulled up to its destination, and Frank filed out, along with the other kids. After a quick induction, they were all paired up with a partner to dish out meals for the break. Frank, as luck would have it, was paired with the black hair mystery boy he had been watching – Gerard, he had now learnt his name was. 

“So, what are you here for?” Was literally the first thing Frank had said to him once they were all stationed up. 

Gerard was busy ladling out the hot vegetable soup into the bowls people were holding out to them. “What do you mean?” He responded eventually, when there was a short break in the line. 

“Like what did you do? I got told I have to come here for a whole fucking month just for getting into the school last night.” Frank hated how he was saying it as if it was a fucking accomplishment, but he couldn’t control his tone. 

“Well, why did you do that?” Gerard scoffed, like it was the stupidest thing he had ever heard. 

“I dunno know.” Frank shrugged. “Bit of fun, me and my friends were bored I guess.”

“Are they here too?” Gerard was back to serving soup, Frank still standing there not helping at all. 

“Well, no, they-

“Don’t sound like friends to me.” The whole time Gerard had been speaking, he hadn’t looked at Frank once. “And no, I’m just here because I want to be. It’s nice to help out.” 

Frank rolled his eyes, of course he’d he stuck with the nerd who went to soup kitchens in his spare time. “Righto. Doesn’t make you any better than the rest of us.” 

The pair didn’t talk for the rest of the break, serving soup to people who needed it, until they were called back onto the bus to head back to school. Frank was starving, he hadn’t thought to bring his own lunch with him to eat on the bus, making a mental note to do so tomorrow. 

Gerard didn’t sit with Frank, taking one of the first spare seats and putting his bag onto the one beside to him, so that Frank couldn’t even if he had wanted to – which he totally didn’t, he was used to sitting all by himself at the back of the bus anyway. Preferred it even. But there was something about the boy really caught Frank’s attention. Yeah, he guessed he was quite interesting looking, all pretty features and captivating voice, but Frank wasn’t gay, so what the fuck? He definitely didn’t care that some loser-nerd didn’t want to be his friend, it was Gerard’s loss, not his. 

Finally getting back to school, just in time for his next class, Frank was _pissed_ he had to do this every lunch time for the next four weeks, while his friends, on the other hand, just got three lousy afterschool detentions and a talking to by the principal. They weren’t even grounded by their parents, Frank’s promptly telling him he wasn’t allowed to be out past dinner anymore _and_ that he wasn’t allowed to play video games for the whole month. 

Streaming into science class, he could see his friend’s sneering at the back of the room. “Hey, look, Saint Frank finally returns.”

“Ha, ha, very funny guys.” Frank mocked, taking a desk next to them. “Fuck you.” He was only playing, but they really did deserve it. He knew he should have given them a real piece of his mind, but they were the only friends he had, and was still relatively new to the school, so didn’t want to risk being an outcast. 

Frank didn’t pay attention the whole lesson, he didn’t really care about science anyway, his mind falling back onto Gerard and why the fuck he wouldn’t want to be Frank’s friend. Frank was cool, he was into cool things, he even dressed cool. Why would anyone not want to be his friend? Now he was just annoyed out of principle, who was Gerard to choose to not want to be Frank’s friend? Frank should be the one not wanting to be _Gerard’s_ friend. Which he didn’t – again, it was totally a principle thing. 

The next day, when Frank woke up, he put on his favourite Misfits hoodie, thinking maybe it could be a conversation starter with Gerard – he looked like maybe he could be into that kind of stuff, he dressed that way at least. But Gerard never said anything about it, in fact he didn’t say anything to Frank the entire time, except to tell him off for eating some of the soup from the pot. 

“You’re not meant to do that, you know?” He said. God he was _such_ a square, Frank wished he would loosen up a bit. 

“I don’t care, I’m hungry. It’s their fault for making us come to this stupid place on our lunch break.” Frank carried on, taking another spoonful of the soup. 

“You should really stop. It’s rude and also I’m sure you’ve got plenty of food at school, these people have nothing.” 

Frank couldn’t hold back laughing at how much of a goodie, goodie this kid was – picking up another spoonful of soup and straight up flicking it into Gerard’s face, which only made Frank laugh even more. 

“Mr. Iero, Mr. Way!” He heard their names being lectured. “That is totally unacceptable, the pair of you have been bickering the whole time we have been here –” Gerard’s mouth fell open, they literally hadn’t spoken once before now. “Get back on the bus, and you can have yourselves an afternoon detention too.” The female supervisor was standing with one hand on her hip, the other outstretched, index finger pointing to where the bus was parked outside. 

Frank had expected Gerard to protest, but then again, he was probably too much of a suck up to talk back to a teacher, and Frank on the other hand, wasn’t going to complain about getting out of serving soup. Walking back to the bus, Gerard sped ahead, again sitting so Frank couldn’t take the seat next to him. He settled for the one across instead, bouncing one of his legs up and down as he took out his phone to check how much longer they had until they’d be returning back to school. 

“That really wasn’t fair, you know?” Gerard finally spoke, his face now clean of soup. 

“It’s just a bit of fun.” Frank rolled his eyes. “Maybe you should try it once in a while.” 

“What’s fun about getting an afternoon detention?”

Frank just put his headphones on, turning up his music loud enough that he wouldn’t have been able to hear Gerard even if he did speak again. What was the big deal anyway? Everyone got afternoon detentions, Frank usually got them weekly. 

Frank guessed he didn’t care too much that he had to stay back after school today, seen as his friends would be too, their second afternoon detention in the same room with Frank. The group of them poured in, making a lot of noise, the teacher throwing them daggers when they did.

“Sit down boys, nice to see you’re here early for a change.” The male teacher knew the group well, they were detention regulars after all. “ _Separately_.” He added, once the four of them crowded around one desk. “Mr. Iero, you can take the one right in front of me, so I can make sure you’re not mucking around.”

His friends dispersed around the room, as Frank looked around at the other kids. There were only two others besides his friends, and Frank noticed Gerard wasn’t there yet. He swore to God, if Gerard had managed to get out of it and didn’t share how with Frank, he was going to be pissed. Although, a couple of moments later, he streamed through the doorway. 

“Mr. Way.” The teacher called. “Can I help you?” 

“Uh, I’m just here for detention.” He said, looking embarrassed and making his way over to the teacher’s desk, he stood there for a moment, Frank wondering why the fuck he didn’t sit down like normal people did when they got to detention. 

“Detention?” The teacher looked mildly shocked. “What, that’s got to be your first one ever, what in heaven’s did you do?” 

His first detention? Ever? Frank could hear his friends laughing. “Probably got in trouble for doing his assignment before the teacher even handed it out.” One mocked, sarcastically. 

The teacher just smiled gently at Gerard, encouraging him to ignore the teasing, and Gerard took a seat one down from Frank. He was kind of offended he didn’t just take the one right next to him, but was also glad, his friends were watching after all, and Gerard just wasn’t _cool_ like they were. 

The rest of the afternoon was painstakingly slow, Frank every now and then feeling paper wasps being shot at the back of his knees by his friend Dean. He couldn’t complain though, even if it was fucking painful. Complaining would only get Dean in more trouble, and then his friends would label him a teacher’s pet, which Frank thought was super unfair, considering they themselves had dobbed on him a couple of days ago. 

Finally, when they were dismissed, Frank wanted to grab Gerard out of the room to kind of apologise for getting him his first detention ever, and an after school one at that, but he was gone before he even had the chance – Frank’s friends calling him to hurry the fuck up so they could go get their bus. He guessed it was okay, he could just tell him he was sorry tomorrow on the lunch trip anyway. 

But, when the lunch trip came around, Gerard wasn’t there. He wasn’t there on the bus, he wasn’t there at the kitchen, and when Frank asked the supervisor if she knew where he was, she just told him that Gerard had been helping out at the kitchen for a while now, so he had decided to help out elsewhere instead. Frank couldn’t help but just _know_ it was because of him, feeling a bit guilty now that he had gotten Gerard in trouble yesterday. Pouring out soup just wasn’t nearly as fun as it had been when Gerard had been there, which still wasn’t much fun at all, but Frank had kind of got used to annoying him, watching him try remain composed as Frank was an idiot, and it helped pass the time.

“Well, what other ways does the school help out?” Frank asked the female teacher as they walked back to the bus afterwards. Not that he was considering doing more community service, no way, he was just curious is all. 

“Oh, there’s plenty of afterschool activities you can partake in Frank. You can ask Principal Chan to give you a full list if you’re interested?”

Straight afterschool, that’s where Frank went. Letting the secretary know he wanted to see Principal Chan, and that _no, he didn’t have an appointment_. He rolled his eyes, still hoping he’d have the time to see him before his normal bus. 

“Mr. Iero, what have you done this time?” His principal sighed, gesturing for him to take seat in the armchair across from his fancy wooden desk. Mahogany, Frank had always guessed. 

“No, nothing sir. I was actually wondering if you could tell me about any of the other ways the school gives back to the community? Like, that students can help out with and stuff.” 

His principal beamed ecstatically, as if he believed that after just three days of helping out at the kitchen, Frank had completely turned his life around. “Well, Frank there’s the fun run we do every month to raise money for a chosen charity, or some students coach the Tuesday junior soccer team from the boys home associated with the church.” 

Frank shook his head, again, he didn’t like to stereotype, but Gerard definitely didn’t look like the kind of guy to enjoy physical activity. “I was kind of looking for something more, uh, _nerdy_?” He cringed saying it, hoping his principal didn’t find it too strange. 

“Intellectually stimulating, we call it, Frank.” Principal Chan smiled. “Well, there’s the e-waste facility every Friday, you get to go down and take apart old electronics, that can be recycled and then given back to less fortunate schools who lack funding for more advance technology like we are so lucky to have here.” 

Frank lit up, that sounded exactly like the type of lame shit Gerard would be into. “Could I go there?” He asked, a bit too eager. 

“Of course you can go there, Frank, you don’t require any special permission to give back to the community.” 

“No, I mean, can I go there _instead_ of going to the soup kitchen at lunch times?” He watched as the principal mulled this over. “I’ll go there every Friday for the full month, two months even, if one’s not enough? Giving out soup is so boring, this way I’m still giving back, but it’s just a bit more _intellectually stimulating_.” Frank grinned, cheekily. 

“Well, I suppose so. They are lacking participation, with it being on a Friday afternoon and all.” He sighed, but then eventually smiled, happy Frank was being so proactive. “I’ll have Clarissa print out the consent forms for you to take home to your parents. You can wait out the front for it. I’m glad you seem to be enjoying yourself in more ways than hanging about with those bad influences, Frank.” 

Frank sprung up out of the chair, thanking his principal, and then running off to get his bus once Clarissa, the secretary, had given him the paperwork. 

Friday couldn’t come fast enough – he was finally going to give Gerard a piece of his mind, ask him why he seemed to hate Frank so fucking much. Cruising his way through the day, he finally poured onto the 12-seater bus, a much smaller one than the one he was used to taking to the soup kitchen, slinking his way to the back. He saw Gerard climb on too, taking his preferred seat towards the front, and Frank couldn’t help but notice the more intense pace his heart took as he did. He wasn’t fucking nervous, that would be dumb. Not like Gerard would try fight him or anything for asking him what his deal was, and if he did, Frank knew he would knock him flat – even if he was taller and older than Frank. 

Frank had another quick induction from the supervisor, a male IT teacher this time, before he was allowed to go off and start taking apart old computers, mobile phone, laptops, a whole heap of stuff. Of course, he took a spot next to Gerard, not because he wanted to, alright? Because he _had_ to, so that he could confront him. 

“Hey.” Frank said smoothly, finally getting Gerard’s attention. As if he hadn’t noticed Frank earlier, he was probably just pretending to ignore him, like usual. “I’m sorry I got you your first ever detention.” He hadn’t planned to lead with that, but his mouth just kind of said it. 

“You gave up your Friday afternoon of probably smoking pot with your loser friends just to say sorry to me about throwing soup in my face when you knew it’d get us in trouble?” Gerard just glared at Frank, no malice in his voice, but no patience either. 

“Dude, what’s your problem?” Frank snapped. “What, you think you’re better than me or something? Because you get straight A’s and do your homework on time and all the teachers love you? At least I have friends and don’t spend my time hanging out at community centres because I have no one else to hang out with.” 

Gerard breathed out a laugh. “I don’t see how any of that is an insult, what’s wrong with getting straight A’s and helping people?”

“You’re a fucking nerd, dude.” Frank was seething, gritting his teeth together, he didn’t know why he was so mad. “ _You’re_ the loser, not my friends.” 

“Your so called _friends_ ditched you the moment they could, why do you think you’re here and they’re not? The don’t care about you, any chance they get they’re hanging out with the dealer kids in my grade, they only hang out with you because you sell them weed.” 

Frank was taken aback, was he really the laughing stock of their group? Did his friends really ditch him to hang out with the older, probably way cooler, kids in the senior year? “As if you’d know shit.” Frank spat, there was no way Gerard would know anything about what his group of friends did. 

“Is there a problem here?” The supervising teacher had made his way over. “Do I need to separate you two?”

“No, Sir.” Gerard shook his head. “We’re all good. Sorry.” 

Frank waited until the teacher was gone to resume. “God, you’re such a teacher’s pet. _Sorry, Sir_." Frank mimicked. 

“Oh, right because being a cool kid,” Gerard used his fingers to make quotations in the air around the word ‘cool’ – “detentions every week, getting called on by the cops, is really getting you so far.” He wasn’t being mean, just more sarcastic. 

“Hey, we both gonna graduate, right? Straight A’s or not. What’s the difference?” Frank knew he had a point, even if Gerard refused to see it. 

“What’s it to you?” Gerard sighed. “Why do you care what the fuck I do? You can be the cool kid, I’ve got no problem with being the loser-nerd, if that’s what you wanna call it.” He shrugged.

Frank _hated_ how fucking compliant Gerard was, how content he was with his annoying, nerdy life. How his stupid hands moved when he spoke, how his stupid hair fell from behind his ear no matter how many times he tucked it back, how perfect his nose was and gorgeous his eyes were. Frank had never hated someone so fucking much.

“Good. It’s settled then.” Frank huffed. He didn’t really know what was settled, he still didn’t even know why Gerard seemed to hate him so much, besides that maybe they were just a bit different. But Frank knew if Gerard got to know him, he’d think Frank was pretty cool, too. 

The bus ride back, Gerard still didn’t offer the seat next to him to Frank, who wasn’t really sure why he expected him to, so Frank took his usual seat at the back of the bus. Music loud as he glared out the window, he wasn’t sure why he was so angry, the fact that he was, just making him angrier still. 

Over the weekend, Frank hung out with Dean and his friends, smoking and playing video games, the usual stuff. He was glad his parents hadn’t spoken to Dean’s about the no video game bullshit, so that he could at least come over and play games all day Saturday. On Sunday though, his mother had asked him to go shopping with him, to get groceries for the week. He knew she was only making him come along so that he wouldn’t be hanging out with his friends. She thought they were a bad influence, and had never really gotten over the embarrassment of having the police drop Frank home that night, wanting to do everything she could to ensure Frank wouldn’t stray too far. He used to be a good catholic boy growing up, but things changed and Frank was happy with who he was – he was just living his life. 

Monday rolled around way too quickly, Frank cursing his alarm clock as he got up out of bed. Sliding into some clothes, and picking up the toast his mother had made him before he had to walk out the door. He wasn’t prepared for the shit Monday coming. First, it started with the principal calling him into his office during maths, to let him know that the IT teacher had told Principal Chan about the disruption he had caused at the e-waste facility on Friday. 

“Frank, I let you go to the e-waste facility out of good faith, please don’t make any more trouble for yourself.” He had said, Frank annoyed that he was causing a fuss over practically nothing.

Secondly, Frank had received a call from his father at lunch, letting him know that he and his mother would have to be out of town this coming weekend to help Frank’s aunt move into her new place in New York. It wasn’t that Frank wasn’t happy to have the house to himself all weekend, but that meant he had to cook and clean and make sure everything was perfect for when they got back home, and Frank had also hoped his dad would take him out for some more driving lessons this weekend. 

But lastly, the icing on the cake, Frank had received his science test results back, staring down at the red F taunting him as he hid around the side of the school, having a smoke and waiting for the kid who normally came to buy weed off him every so often. 

“Hey, Frank.” He heard his name being called, quickly stuffing the test back into his school bag. “No dice?” 

“Hey, Mikey. Nah, she’s all good, got it here for you.” He dove his hand into his pocket, giving Mikey a sneaky handshake to pass it over. Mikey then handed him the money just as discretely. 

“Thanks, Frankie. You always come through.” Frank liked the kid, honestly, he did. He sort of wish he was a year older so Frank could have actually had him as a friend, but hanging out with younger grades was definitely not cool, and Frank _needed_ to be cool. “Well, see ya later, I guess?” Frank also liked that Mikey never stuck around longer than he needed to, it was awkward when people tried to make small talk, Frank never any good at it. 

The rest of the week followed in similar fashion, Frank feeling a lot of tension between him and his friends, Gerard’s comments constantly hanging over his head, and he wondered if his friends actually liked him at all. Come Friday, Frank was so drained he considered skipping the e-waste facility altogether. He had spent the better half of last period at his science teacher’s desk, getting a lecture, that he was sure the entire class could hear, about his grades. His teacher must have thought embarrassing him would smarten him up some, which was definitely wrong, Frank just wasn’t really any good at science. He only took the class because it was either that or physical education, and for the most part he had been able to get by on C’s, not really sure why his teacher seemed to be marking him more harshly now. 

Gerard must have seemed to notice something was bothering Frank, probably because he hadn’t made one smartass comment since getting on the bus, up until now. “You okay?” He asked softly, kind of sweetly even. 

“Oh yeah, just had a huge week, you know?” Frank sighed, he didn’t think Gerard would have any sympathy for him and his slipping grades. 

Gerard just hummed in reply, continuing to take apart electronics and throw them into the corresponding buckets. 

“Like, got my science marks back.” Frank wasn’t sure why his mouth was talking without his permission, but he couldn’t stop it. “And, like, probably gonna fail science, but who cares, right?” He laughed. 

Gerard laughed a bit too. “So much for we’re both gonna graduate.” He mocked

Frank wasn’t really in the mood, usually he would have shot back some cocky remark, but he was kind of starting to re-evaluate his life this past week, wondering if by the end of next if he’d even have any friends, and whether he’d have to drop science altogether. 

Gerard dropped his grin. “Well, what kind of science do you take? Maybe I could help?” 

Frank looked up to Gerard’s eyes, those stupid, perfect, annoying eyes, surprised to see that he wasn’t making fun of him. “Um, biology?” He didn’t know why it came out as a question.

“Yeah, easy. I take bi-ol, I guess I could maybe tutor you. But, depends on how hopeless you actually are.” He nudged him slightly, literally the first time he had ever touched Frank. 

It sort of left this heated sensation on his arm where he had connected, which made Frank a bit confused. “Dude, that would be sick.” Frank smiled. “I mean, like, if you wanna?”

Gerard looked like he was giving it some thought. “I’ll tutor you, only if you do something for me in return.” 

Frank felt that weird nervous feeling in his chest again, his heart beating a mile a minute, not really sure why though. “Uh, okay, what?” He didn’t mean to lick his lips, it just sorta happened. 

“Stop selling weed to my little brother.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank eventually fantasises about what it'd be like to hear Gerard moaning his name.

Come Saturday, Frank wasn’t really sure why he took so long in front of the mirror fixing his hair after his shower, he just did, alright? Gerard was coming over to help with his biology assignment, and he didn’t really want to look like he had just woken up at 12pm, even though he most definitely had. 

He felt a bit sick waiting, sick in his stomach, maybe he had eaten something bad last night for dinner, or caught something from someone at school, or maybe he was just nervous about this stupid assignment – his last chance to pull up his grades. Frank decided to put a movie on, so it didn’t look like he was just standing around waiting when Gerard arrived, Frank totally had better things to do. Which is also why he let a few moments past before he opened the door for Gerard, even though he was sitting in the lounge room right by it. 

“Hi.” Was all he said once Frank did, standing there awkwardly with his bag slung over one shoulder. “You gonna let me in?” 

“Oh, yeah. Come in.” Frank walked back into the house, letting Gerard shut the door behind him. “Sorry, was just watching a movie.” 

Gerard’s eyes flashed to the TV, recognising the horror film Frank had carelessly put on. “Dude, I love this movie.” He sounded so excited, a completely different tone Frank had ever heard from him before. 

“We can watch if you want?” Frank was playing with the sleeve of his jumper, not entirely sure where he was meant to look or sit. 

“Oh, no, it’s okay. I’ve seen it a hundred times, we should look at your assignment.” Gerard dropped his bag to the floor next to the coffee table in the living room. 

“Oh, right.” Frank had kind of forgotten that Gerard wasn’t here to hang out. Turning off the TV, Frank sat down on the floor, cross-legged at the coffee table where his assignment was already sitting. 

“Do you know what your assignment is on?” Gerard asked, joining him on the floor. It would have normally been a stupid question, but probably not with Frank. 

“Uh, kind of. They gave us a whole bunch of E. Coli lab samples and we are meant to investigate what is the most effective against it.” Frank felt dumb saying it out loud, but he wasn’t sure where to start, he didn’t even know what E. Coli was. 

“Oh yeah, they gave us the same one last year.” 

“Nice, so I can just use your assignment?” Frank was super relieved. 

“What? No. That’s called plagiarism. And also, you wouldn’t learn anything.” Gerard huffed. Right, Frank had also forgotten Gerard was still a nerd. 

Gerard helped Frank do background research for about an hour, and formulate a hypothesis, before he gave Frank some sort of report structure he could follow. “You like literally just need to fill it in once you’ve done your experiment, alright?” Frank didn’t really see how he could possibly fail after this. “I can come back next weekend once you’ve got your lab results and help you go through them?” 

“Oh, sure.” Frank watched as Gerard stood up, this strange urge bubbling up inside of him to ask him where he was going. Instead, he absentmindedly reached out and grabbed Gerard’s wrist.

Gerard just looked down at where Frank’s fingers were wrapped around him, then darted his eyes to Frank. “Uh, I’m gonna-” He said as Frank got up from the floor, there was this moment where Frank was kind of locked into Gerard’s gaze, those stupid eyes staring back at him again, Frank unable to look anywhere else. “I’m gonna head off now.” Gerard finished his sentence, turning to leave and was gone before Frank could even reply. 

That was weird. Frank didn’t know why he had done that, grabbing out his phone to send a message to Dean to see where they were at. He needed to do some cool bro shit, like smoke a lot and play grand theft auto. Which he did, hanging out with his friends for a couple of hours, before he thought he should probably head home and think about what he was gonna order in for dinner. 

“Dude, Frankie, Mikey hit me up to buy some more weed. Said you won’t sell it to him anymore?” 

“Oh, I dunno know, he’s kinda young, man. Shouldn’t be smokin so much.” Frank knew he sounded like an idiot, he had been smoking at that age too. 

“Nah, he said his brother Gerard told you you’re not allowed to sell him weed anymore.” Dean was laughing, most likely from being high, but there was no doubt he still found it funny. 

Frank felt his face going red, but that was okay, because they didn’t know _why_ Frank wasn’t allowed to sell him weed anymore. “Mikey's making shit up.” Frank lied. 

“Dude, that guy is so gay.” Frank looked over to see Mitch smoking another joint. 

“What? Who?” Frank was 99% sure Mikey definitely wasn’t gay. 

“Gerard, he’s totally fucking gay. Casey told me she was told by her friend that he came out and his parents kicked him out of home for a while. What a loser. I don’t know how him and Mikey are even related.” 

Gerard wasn’t gay, at least he didn’t sound or look gay. He hardly even would make eye contact with Frank, and was super weird when Frank had touched him just before, wouldn’t he have loved that shit if he was gay? Frank shook his head, kind of thinking it would be a bit rude of Gerard to not have told him if he was gay. Like Frank had a right to know that. 

The next week at school, Frank actually enjoyed his science lessons, he felt like he knew what he was doing and come Wednesday he even enjoyed testing out different substances on the E. Coli strain. Making his way to his locker for the lunch break, his friends jumped him from behind, always thinking it was funny how scared Frank got. “Dude, hurry up, we are gonna go smoke behind the gymnasium.” 

“Let me get my fucking shit, alright?” Frank sighed, turning around to shut his locker. For the first time ever, Frank saw Gerard over by a locker not far from his. It was weird, seeing him anywhere during school time, Frank had even started to wonder if he attended normal school. Before he could have any other thoughts, he could see Gerard had noticed Frank also, now making his way over to his group of friends. 

“Hey, Frank. See you Saturday?” He was standing in front of all of Frank’s friends, each one just snickering, thinking it was hilarious. 

Frank felt all the blood rush to his face, super embarrassed that his friends were hearing this. “Uh, don’t think so, fag.” He said brazen, which made his friends snicker even more.

Gerard just stared a few moments, before turning around and walking off. Was that a bit too far? Frank thought, his friends shoving him into his locker as boys do. “What a fucking loser.” They were calling after Gerard, praising Frank for his name calling. But Frank didn’t want to be praised, he felt a bit sick, regret now simmering. 

He couldn’t go run after Gerard and apologise, he friends would see, but Friday was still two days away, and Frank really needed that help with his biology assignment. “You guys go ahead, Principal Chan actually asked to see me, says he wants to review my fucking behavioural plan or some bullshit.” 

His friends just looked at each other, before shoving Frank again. “Alright, tell him, him and his behavioural plan can get fucked.” Dean laughed, leading his friends down the hallway. 

Frank immediately took out his phone, searching for Mikey’s name and sending him a text asking if he had Gerard’s number. Of course he fucking would, he was Mikey’s fucking brother. Mikey responded with a whole lot of question marks, asking what Frank would need it for, concerned he had got him in trouble for letting Dean know he told Frank not to deal to him anymore. After making up some bullshit excuse, Mikey finally sent through his number, Frank adding it to his phone and sending Gerard a text. 

_Hey, look, can we talk?_ Frank hoped Gerard wouldn’t be too pissed, sending another just in case it wasn’t clear. _It’s Frank. Mikey gave me your number_. But Gerard never replied, Frank making it all the way to Friday afternoon even with still no reply, and no other sight of Gerard either. He was sure he wasn’t going to turn up to the e-waste facility that afternoon too, but last-minute, Gerard climbed onto the bus, so obviously avoiding Frank’s gaze from the back. He wanted to go up and apologise, grab him by his shoulders and shake some sense into him, surely he’d understand Frank had to look cool in front of his friends, right? 

Filing inside, Frank didn’t even bother putting his bag down with the others, making a beeline straight to where Gerard was. “Hey. Gerard?” He called, Gerard reluctantly tearing his gaze to Frank, as if it was the most inconvenient thing ever. “What’s up?” 

Gerard let out a kind of cynical laugh. “What’s up?” He repeated. “Are you serious? Fuck off.” 

“Look, I was only playing around, my friends-”

“Friends?” Gerard mocked again. “Well you can ask your _friends_ to help you with your assignment next time.” He spat, turning to walk away from Frank, who reached out to grab his shoulder in an attempt to stop him. “Don’t fucking touch me!” Gerard yelled, shoving Frank back so hard that he fell onto his backside. 

Everyone at the facility had now stopped what they were doing to look and listen, the supervisor making his way over again. “You two. Out.” He said sternly, pointing a finger to the exit. “ _Now_.” Gerard pushed past Frank, visibly fuming, before he and their supervisor followed. “That’s twice now you’ve been disruptive during these trips, what is going on?” He asked, once the pair was back on the bus. 

Neither said anything, looking down at their shoes and refusing to speak. 

“You better come up with some explanation for this by the time the session is over, or I’ll be taking you back to Principal Chan’s office when we return to school.” He demanded, explaining that the pair were to remain on the bus for the remainder of the time. 

Frank wanted to get up and shove Gerard back, like, come on it was just a name, he was still going to see him Saturday, so what if he didn’t want his friend know? Gerard was obviously a loser; he should have been used to it by now. Frank opened his mouth to say something smart once the teacher had left, but Gerard just spoke over him. “Don’t talk to me.” 

“I wasn’t, I was just gonna say-”

“I said don’t talk to me.” Gerard repeated, getting up and moving to the back of the bus. 

Frank annoyingly followed. “Look, just hear me out. Everyone was saying you were like gay or something. And I hadn’t told them that you’re helping me with my assignment, what else was I meant to do?” 

“You care so much what they fucking think about you?” Gerard laughed. “You can work out your assignment on your own, because I’m not fucking helping you.” 

There was a bit of silence where Frank just looked at Gerard, who refused to look back, his gaze falling anywhere but on Frank. He swore he could see his eyes watering a bit, but like, guys didn’t cry, so that would be dumb. “Well, are you?” Frank asked, unfiltered. “Are you gay?” He rephrased soon after, once Gerard didn’t reply. 

“I don’t see how that’s any of your concern.” He huffed, obviously offended. 

“Well, like if we’re hanging out, you’re in my house and shit, I think I deserve to know, right?” _Right?_

“Don’t worry, you’re not my type.” Gerard was looking out the bus window. “You’re not gonna catch anything. Grow the fuck up.” 

Not his type, what did that mean? Should Frank be relieved? Offended? He didn’t really know what to say back, so settled for nothing instead. In the silence that followed Frank was certain he for sure saw a tear fall from Gerard’s eyes, wondering if he had really upset him that much. “Look, I’m sorry, alright?” Frank wasn’t heartless, it was the least he could do. 

“Whatever.” Gerard mumbled, taking his headphones out of his bag and putting them on for the rest of the wait. 

Once the rest of the group returned, the supervisor called Frank to the front of the bus, asking him to explain to him what was going on. Frank just shrugged, saying that he could take him to the principal’s office for all he cared, he didn’t have any more to say. Which is what happened, Frank and Gerard sitting at opposite ends of the office, arms folded, glaring at each other while they waited for the principal to see them. Gerard was called in first, spending about 15 minutes in there talking, Frank unable to hear anything, until he was told to sit and wait some more while Frank went in. 

“Frank, I’ve been told you’ve been using some disturbing language and name calling?” He accused, Frank rolling his eyes because _of course_ Gerard told on him. 

“He’s been so rude to me, like from since we first met, I don’t get what his deal is!” Frank shouted, this definitely wasn’t all his fault. “He told me to fuck off too, and shoved me!” The principal didn’t flinch at his language.

“Frank. Did you, or did you not, call Gerard a very distasteful name?” Was all he said once Frank had finished whining. 

“Well.” Frank was going to lie, but didn’t really think there would be any point. “Yeah, but-”

“That’s all I needed to hear Frank.” Principal Chan stood up, indicating for Frank to remain seated, while he opened his office door and called Gerard back in, who reluctantly took the seat next to Frank. “I don’t know what is going on between you two boys.” Frank furrowed his brow when Gerard stole a glance at him, because what the fuck did that mean? “But this will not be tolerated. Frank, you will not be going back to the e-waste facility. Gerard, it is your choice if you want to continue to go. But you’re both going to be receiving a detention this afternoon, you can sit in the office next door until 5pm. I have informed your parents.” 

Frank couldn’t stop his mouth from falling open, an after-after school detention? Was that even a thing? “That’s not fair, you can’t do that?” Frank complained, while Gerard just sat there, with his arms folded, waiting to be dismissed. 

“Mr. Iero. I don’t know how many detentions it’s going to take for you to realise this, but we are not going to tolerate the kind of behaviour you may have gotten away with at your previous school. Now, get into the other room, I’ll have some lines for the pair of you to write.” 

Frank sulked his way in, the room next door some sort of small learning support space, not in use this late in the afternoon. He continued to sulk, all the way into a desk, watching Gerard from the corner of his eye has he did the same. Once they were given some paper and lines to write, Principal Chan left them be, warning them that he’d just be in the room next door. 

About ten minutes went by without either Frank nor Gerard saying a word, before Gerard finally piped up. “You’re literally the fucking worst, you know?” Frank didn’t reply, like okay, yeah Frank was kind of a brat, but he wasn’t the _fucking worst_. “Never been in trouble my entire life and you come along and fuck everything up.” 

“It’s detention, not the end of the world.” Frank was watching Gerard, who continued to write – Frank on the other hand hadn’t even started, and didn’t plan on it. He watched as Gerard tucked his hair behind his ear, which immediately fell back down like Frank hated so fucking much. Frank thought about a lot of things for those 45 minutes watching Gerard, like what his mum was going to say when he got home, if Gerard was still going to come over tomorrow to help with his assignment, whether or not he should continue hanging out with Dean and all them. But he also thought about some really weird shit, like what exactly Gerard’s ‘type’ was, and why Frank wasn’t it. He thought about asking, but knew that would be weird, like, Frank didn’t care really, so what was the point anyway? He also considered that if Frank was ever to be gay, which he definitely wasn’t, Gerard probably would have been his type. 

Frank continued to think, until Principal Chan came back in and dismissed them both, Gerard finally saying another word to Frank once they were out of the office. “I can still come over tomorrow, if you want. Do you need a ride home?” His voice sounded kind of bored, but was still sincere.

Frank was definitely shocked, not expecting either of those options. “Uh, alright.” He smiled back, trying not to sound too pleased.

Gerard’s car was super nice. Like, not fancy, fancy, nice, but much nicer than anything Frank could afford right now. Sliding into the passenger seat, he felt a bit awkward sitting there while he was driven home, wondering why Gerard even offered. “Do you mind if I have a smoke?” Frank asked, needing anything to cause the unfamiliar nerves he was experiencing. 

“I’d rather you didn’t smoke in my car, sorry.” Gerard just said, flatly, his eyes staying on the road. 

Frank didn’t protest. He couldn’t get over how intriguing he found Gerard, finding himself wanting to know all these different things about him like where he grew up, what is favourite food was, how long he’d known he was gay for. He was watching Gerard drive, even the simple, mundane act intriguing somehow. Frank was aware that Gerard could see him watching him, but still didn’t pull away, continuing to do so until they pulled up outside Frank’s parent’s house.

“Guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Gerard said, putting his car into park. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Frank undid his seatbelt, hand on the passenger door, before turning back. “Hey. You know, I don’t really know much about you.” He wasn’t really sure where he was going with this. “I feel like you know more about me?” 

Gerard huffed. “That’s because you’re really predictable, Frank.” Frank was sure that was probably an insult. “But anyway, there’s not much to know. I’m pretty normal.” He shrugged.

Frank cocked an eyebrow, the boys both facing each other now, Frank swimming in Gerard’s irises. “You volunteer in your spare time, that’s not pretty normal.” He teased. 

There was a long silence in which they just continued to get lost in each other’s eyes, before Gerard cleared his throat. “I gotta get back home, so uh, you wanna go?” He wasn’t being pushy, Frank taking the hint that he should leave though. 

Frank went to bed that night in a terrible mood, his parents giving him another huge lecture about how disappointed they were that he couldn’t even keep out of trouble volunteering. Frank just stayed silent the entire time, knowing that without responding the whole thing would go by a lot quicker. He didn’t even have dinner, just crawling into bed, his jaw clenched, and brain moving a mile a minute. There was no way he’d be able to easily fall asleep now, his mind overstimulated. 

Frank was pretty much pissed off at everyone, his parents for being so harsh on him, his friends for being so fake to him, his principal for being so strict on him, like an after-after school detention – what the fuck was that all about? And also, the way he spoke to Frank, only just made Frank madder. 

_“I don’t know what is going on between you two boys.”_ The way his principal had said it, stirred up something crazy inside Frank. Sure, to any normal person it would have been a completely normal statement, but he felt like there was some sort of hidden agenda behind the words. Had Gerard told Principal Chan something, like how he was helping out Frank with his assignment so that Frank would stop selling weed to his younger brother? He had given Frank that look after he had said it, after all. 

Now, Gerard seemed to be the only thing on Frank’s mind, his stupid teacher’s pet mentality, the way he helped out in his spare time, his stupid honey brown eyes, the way Frank swore he could just get lost in them every time he looked at Gerard. And not to mention the way his voice just fell out of his perfect lips, even when he said Frank’s name. _Especially_ when he said Frank’s name. What would it be like having Gerard crawling all over you, kissing you, while calling your name? Now, all Frank could think about was how Gerard was gay. He hadn’t really ever met anyone who was openly gay before. He wondered if Gerard had ever kissed another boy, or perhaps even more? 

Frank felt himself through his shorts, totally not hard thinking about Gerard, he had just had a huge day and needed some stress relief, alright? None the less, Frank continued to knead himself, his mind finally relaxing and his anger dispersing. What about Gerard _moaning_ Frank’s name? He guessed Gerard would probably say it really desperately, too, because Frank would make him beg for it. He’d call him all these filthy names because Gerard deserved it, being such a good boy and all, he’d probably love it even. 

Frank slid his hand down his pants, letting his mind run wild with fantasy. Gerard would come over to help with his assignment, and Frank would kiss him, letting him know that for every answer Gerard helped him with he’d get another kiss. Eventually, Gerard would just give him his whole assignment because there’s no way Gerard wouldn’t want more. He’d have Frank pinned down on the couch, straddling over him, his gorgeous eyes hungry for Frank. But Frank wouldn’t let him have it, he’d make Gerard whine for it, admit Frank was totally his type, and that the reason he’d been so rude to him was because he actually wanted to fuck Frank. Finally, Frank would let Gerard kiss him again, his hands find their way into the back of his hair, pulling and tugging until Gerard would let out this eager moan, asking Frank for more. _Fuck, Frankie, you’re such a brat._ He’d moan, Frank knowing he secretly loved it when Frank was. Then Gerard would cup Frank through his school pants, pumping him just how Frank liked it until he came. 

The whole vision was too much for Frank, who was still jerking himself off, imagining his hand was actually Gerard’s. He breathing was so fast and short now, he knew he was fucking close. “Fuck, _Gerard_.” Frank breathed out, almost silently, because he knew he wasn’t home alone. Then Frank was coming all over his hand and inside his pants, the high lasting momentarily until Frank was brought back to reality, this weird nauseating sensation washing over himself. He felt sick, orgasming over what he had just thought about. He wasn’t gay, he didn’t want Gerard to do any of that, Frank was just confused and overly tired.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank could hear Gerard asking him if this is what he really wanted? He wanted to say a million things, do a million things, but his body wouldn’t let him.

“My mum’s in the kitchen, she will probably wanna say hi.” Frank was excited Gerard was here but was purposely avoiding his gaze, worried that as if just by looking at him all, his secrets from last night would spill out. “Then we can go up to my room and look at my assignment.” 

“Sure. Mum’s usually love me.” 

Frank guessed that would be true, Gerard was polite, good in school, volunteered, didn’t smoke, all of the stuff Frank’s mum only wished he could be. 

“Hey, mum. This is Gerard, from school.” 

“Oh Frank, honey, I didn’t know you were having a friend over, I would have planned something for you two to eat.” She was fussing around in the kitchen, and Frank knew whatever she was cooking was going to be amazing regardless. 

“Smells great, mum.” Frank didn’t bother correcting her use of the word friend. 

“Nice to meet you, Frank’s said the loveliest things about you.” Gerard reached out his hand to shake Frank’s mum, who was smiling so hugely at his comment. Frank had literally never mentioned his mum to Gerard before, so he had no idea what he was going on about, but guessed it was how he got on people’s good sides. 

“Ma, we will just be upstairs, we have some study to catch up on.” He watched as his mother’s eyes widened, most likely unable to believe what she was hearing. Frank turned and directed Gerard upstairs, wanting to leave before he died from any more embarrassment. 

After about an hour and a bit of working, Frank was pretty sure he was basically finished his assignment – one proofread and sense check away at least anyway. Gerard had really helped, honestly, Frank couldn’t have done it without him. “Do you wanna like, hang out?” He asked, finding it sort of awkward now that they had nothing to talk about. 

Gerard chewed on his bottom lip a bit, looking as if he was considering Frank’s offer. “Well, what could we do?” 

Frank didn’t really want to suggest anything outside, what if Dean and Mitch and them happened to see Frank hanging out with Gerard? But he wasn’t really sure what else they could do at home. “You wanna watch a movie? My dad collects so many, he has a whole shelf full of them, you can choose one.” He hoped the offer would be good enough for Gerard to take up.

“What kind?” Frank couldn’t help now but stare back into Gerard’s eyes, he liked the way they seemed to swirl and shine whenever he spoke. He guessed he must have been staring for too long, because Gerard had to repeat himself. “Like, what kind of movies do you have?” 

“Oh, loads. Come down and you can have a look.” Frank stood up, reaching out his hand for Gerard to take his, only he didn’t – getting up himself and heading to leave Frank’s room first. Embarrassed, Frank followed until they were back down in the lounge room, Gerard standing in front of the cabinet Frank’s dad had organised all his movies in, alphabetically by genre. 

Frank guessed Gerard really liked horror films, because his hand went straight to a whole lot of them, finger gliding across the spine of the cases, reading the titles silently to himself. “You like horror, hey?” Frank observed, cringing at how stupid he sounded. 

“Yeah, I do. Probably my favourite genre. But-” Gerard paused scanning the rest of the DVDs. “Do you have Star Wars?” 

Frank wanted to scoff, because _duh_ , of course they had Star Wars. “Yeah, you wanna watch?” 

Gerard nodded, smiling towards Frank. “Return of the Jedi?” He asked, walking back to fall down onto the couch. 

Frank put it on, before sitting down next to Gerard. It took the pair a while to get comfortable, at first Frank just sitting up super straight as if to make sure no part of him could possibly accidentally touch Gerard, but as the movie progressed, they both fell more into a slump, eating handfuls of popcorn that his mum had put on for them. They continued to make comments about the movie, Gerard was even reciting line for line at one point. Frank, who would normally find that shit super annoying, was smiling quietly to himself at how obsessed Gerard was with Luke Skywalker. Maybe Luke Skywalker was Gerard’s type. 

Frank regretted when the movie finally came to an end, the time close to lunch, and wondering what they could do now. He didn’t want to sit and watch another movie, he couldn’t sit still that long. Truthfully, he wanted a cigarette. Usually Frank would take a walk down to the park close by if his parents were home, but he wasn’t sure if that’s something Gerard would want to do. And again, what if his friends saw? Not that they lived nearby, but knowing Frank’s luck it would happen. 

“Luke is such a badass.” Gerard was still watching all the credits roll across the screen. 

So, Gerard did like bad boys? Frank swore he had never heard anyone use that word before, it was kind of lame, but it was the sentiment that counted. “I was going to go walk down to this park down the street, do you want to come?” Frank couldn’t stop himself from asking, he even stood up before he finished his sentence. He could see Gerard giving him this sort of ‘what for?’ look, but he either had nothing better to do, or had at least started to warm up to the idea of hanging out with Frank, because he stood up too, slipping his shoes back on that he had kicked off during the movie. 

Gerard had offered to drive, but Frank assured him it was only a short walk – two minutes to be exact, and after that, they were both sitting down at a super secluded park, with the most rundown play equipment Frank had ever seen. He always wondered why the council had never fixed it, but he did suppose there weren’t many super young kids living around; it wouldn’t have been used anyway. Once he had sat down, Frank took out a smoke and lit it up, thinking momentarily to offer one to Gerard, but knew he would never take it.

“You really shouldn’t smoke, you know?” Gerard was complaining, Frank making an effort to at least not blow smoke in his direction. 

“Anything else?” Frank cocked, a playful smile on his face. 

“What?” Gerard looked confused, but didn’t seem upset. 

“You really seem to love telling me what to do – anything else?” Frank was only being cheeky now.

“I think it’s pretty standard. Don’t smoke, don’t throw food at people, don’t deal drugs, don’t be an asshole.” Frank knew Gerard could list of another million things he didn’t like about Frank – he was giving off this stupid, smug smile, Frank falling right into it. 

“I could tell you things you shouldn’t do too, you know?” Frank took another drag, effortlessly letting the smoke filter into his lungs. “Like.” He thought for a bit, actually kind of struggling. “Don’t shove people?” Frank was annoyed it came out like a question. 

“Okay, noted.” Gerard nodded his head in agreeance. Of course, he fucking did. “My turn? Don’t get other people detentions.” 

Frank didn’t mind this game, because it was sort of finally letting Frank see a different side of Gerard, a more playful one. “Don’t offer to help someone with their assignment and then say you’re not going to one week later.” 

“Well, maybe you should study harder, so you wouldn’t need someone to help you with your assignment?” Gerard was beaming now; happy he had got one over on Frank. 

Frank noticed how the pair were sitting much closer now, legs straddling either side of the table bench so that they were facing each other. Their knees were even touching, Frank feeling weird butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to get up and move, but also kind of didn’t. “Well, maybe you should-” Frank didn’t know what else to say. “Maybe you should shut up.” 

“Yeah, good one. Maybe you should shut up, too.” Gerard fired back, still playful though. 

“Maybe you should make me.” 

“Okay.” Gerard replied almost instantly. 

“Maybe – maybe you should kiss me.” The word came out like literal vomit, Frank super mortified at them, his eyes growing wide and the cigarette held in his hand burning his fingers from being idle for too long. He hissed and dropped it to the floor, stamping it out. “I mean, I’m not gay, I didn’t-”

“Do you really want that?” Gerard asked over the top of him, this sceptical look on his face. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

Frank didn’t either, he wasn’t even sure if he had really meant it, glad Gerard was on the same page. “What, why?” He asked though, anyway. 

“It would just make things complicated.” He sighed, looking down at his hands before his eyes found their way back up to Frank. “You don’t know what you want, and your friends-”

“They’re not my friends. I’d rather hang out with you.” Frank meant it, the last few weeks, he’d had plenty more fun with Gerard, he was even excited knowing it Friday when it came around. Frank also wasn’t sure if he had just wanted Gerard to kiss him so he could see what it was like – Gerard was gay, surely he would be the perfect guy to kiss for the first time. Not that Frank was, it was just curiosity. 

Gerard stood up, Frank grabbing his hand this time to stop him from walking away. “Frank, please don’t do this.” 

“Don’t do what?” Frank wasn’t even really aware of what he was doing himself, not sure how Gerard could possibly know. 

“This.” He gestured between Frank and himself. “Is not a good idea.” 

“What? We’re not that different you know, I can stop smoking-” He didn’t know why he was frantically rambling, he didn’t think it was a good idea either, in fact in his mind it wasn’t even an _idea_ at all. 

“That’s not what I meant.” Gerard pulled his hand out of Frank’s grip, letting him know he was going to walk back to his car and head home. 

Frank felt sick, so embarrassed, he had made a huge fool of himself, and what for? He didn’t actually want Gerard to kiss him, that would be dumb. So why then, did he feel so rejected? He stayed to have another smoke, knowing that if he left to walk back home any sooner it would only be awkward if he caught up with Gerard. When he did, Frank went straight up into his room and listened to some music, letting the lyrics take his anger away. He felt like he had to explain himself, but didn’t know how to. He hadn’t ever really felt this way before, all confused and angsty, trying to think of a message he could send Gerard to get himself out of this mess. 

_I still wanna hang out sometime._ He settled on, guessing it was the truth, so it was the best way to start.

Frank waited all afternoon for a reply, even falling asleep with his phone on his chest without one. He dreamt all crazy that night. Dean and Mitch forcing him into his locker, slamming the door shut and taunting him from the outside. They were laughing and calling him names, similar to those he had used against Gerard, telling him he wasn’t allowed to hang out with them anymore if he was hanging out with a gay-loser-nerd. Frank scrunched his eyes shut, swearing he thought he was about to cry, he hated tight spaces, and the way his friends were teasing him was actually hurting his feelings more than he thought they would. He kept his eyes closed, listening to the banging on the metal door, until Frank heard the taunting stop, silence falling on his ears. Frank pulled his eyes open, looking through the tiny grates in the locker to see Gerard standing there his hand outstretched, holding Dean and Mitch up in the air with the force. He was even wearing Luke Skywalker’s clothes. Frank was panicking now for a different reason, he didn’t want anyone to get hurt, not because of him, screaming out for Gerard to let them go, but also not wanting the taunting to return. Finally, Gerard turned around to face him, cooing Frank’s name quietly, opening the locker door, Frank stepping out. Only when he did, he was no longer standing in the school hallways, he was back in his room, Gerard pushing him down onto the bed, crawling on top of him like Frank so secretly wanted. Frank let his mind float away, feeling so comfortable in Gerard’s normal presence, letting him just stare down at him, arms either side of Frank’s head. He could hear him asking Frank if this is what he really wanted? He wanted to say a million things, do a million things, but his body wouldn’t let him. It was as if he was caught in some sort of sleep paralysis. Panicking and thinking Gerard would disappear if Frank didn’t say something, he began to scream internally, the paralysis forbidding him from doing anything else. Frank was screaming so loud he swore his throat was bleeding, pulling himself out from his sleep to find his body covered by his own sweat and still in yesterday’s clothes.

It took a moment for his breathing to regulate, feeling for his phone still resting on his chest, the time reading 8:30am. Frank couldn’t believe he had slept so fucking long, but even more so couldn’t believe he still had no reply from Gerard. Getting up to take a shower, Frank left it for a few more hours, Gerard never leaving his mind, before he was starting to get pissed off. He had tried to be Gerard’s friend, he thought things were getting better. The dream he had just woken up from replaying in his mind. Admittedly, Frank knew rocking up to his house to confront him about it wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but he was running out of options and couldn’t rid himself of this insane desire to be Gerard’s friend. 

He had been to Gerard’s house plenty times before, only then, he hadn’t realised it was Gerard’s. Mikey would often ask Frank to come by to drop off a stick or whatever, Frank thinking how crazy it was now that Gerard was probably inside every time, the pair not even knowing each other existed. 

Knocking abruptly on the front door, Frank was made to wait a few moments before an older lady answered – he guessed it was Gerard and Mikey’s mum. “Can I help you?” She just asked, looking down at Frank with a questioning look on her face. 

“Uh, hi, I’m Frank – Gerard’s friend.” He was suddenly feeling way too nervous for this, wishing he could turn back home already. “Is he home?” 

“Gerard, darling? Oh, so sorry, Gerard’s never mentioned any friends before, are you from school?” 

Frank nodded, now actually wondering if Gerard really didn’t have any friends. He did spend a lot of time volunteering after all. 

“He’s home, dear. Come in.” Mrs Way stepped aside, holding the door back behind her so Frank could walk in. 

He felt so strange and out of place actually being inside, also not to mention that Gerard didn’t even know he would be coming over, hoping he wouldn’t be too mad about it. 

“You’re lucky, Michael just went out, he asked Gerard to go along with him, you would have just missed him if he did. Ger-rard!” His mother, standing at the base of the stairs, sung out. “It’s so lovely to hear Gerard is making friends at school, he doesn’t normally try to open up to people because, well you know why.” 

Frank didn’t know why. Was she just meaning because he was gay? Or something else? He suddenly felt very obtrusive being here. 

“You can just go on up, Frank, I’m sure he’s got that music on upstairs way too loud.” 

Frank silently climbed the stairs, listening out for the music his mum mentioned as a means of locating Gerard’s room. He felt that weird type of sick again, what if he didn’t want to talk to Frank? What if he told him to leave and go home? Finally reaching the door, Frank could hear some slower rock music playing from inside the room, he recognised it as the Smashing Pumpkins, Frank was pretty sure. He knocked twice, before calling out. “Hey, Gerard. It’s Frank.” Before turning the nob and peeking through the doorway. 

“Frank? Why are you here?” He didn’t sound angry, just obviously confused. “Is this about yesterday, because it’s really fine you don’t have to, I get you were just playing around.” 

Frank kind of just waited in the doorway until Gerard hinted for him to come in. He was sitting at his desk drawing something, from what Frank could see. But when Frank walked in further, Gerard got up from the chair and met Frank halfway in the room. 

Frank desperately wanted to say what was on his mind, that dreaded feeling that Gerard would disappear like in his dream surfacing again, Frank believing it was somehow true if he didn’t. “I just-” He didn’t really know what he was trying to say, wishing he had thought this through on his way over. “I feel. I feel strange.”

“Strange? Like are you sick?” 

“No. I mean, I don’t think so? I feel this weird feeling, inside me. It’s driving me insane.” Frank was distressed, embarrassment flooding over him. 

“Okay.” Gerard said slowly. “I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, but I don’t see what that has to do with me.” 

“It has everything to do with you. It’s _because_ of you.” Frank wanted to look anywhere but Gerard, his eyes not letting him though. “I feel it when I’m with you.” 

Gerard stood in silence for a moment. “Frank, I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.” 

“Please, just – don’t tell me I’m fucking crazy. I get these weird butterflies whenever I see you. And I had this dream about you. I don’t understand, I’m not gay. It’s just-” Frank was now hyper-aware of how close Gerard was to him, wanting to step back, but his feet feeling like they were cemented for the floor. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” 

“Don’t say that.” Gerard cooed, quietly, a hand now finding its way onto Frank’s hip. 

His breath was hitching, finding it so difficult to ignore Gerard just casually holding him there, not sure if he wanted more or for him to stop altogether. Frank diverted his gaze to the floor, avoiding anymore to come from this. 

Gerard used a finger to tilt Frank’s chin up towards him, realigning their gazes. “Tell me what you can’t stop thinking about?” He asked gently. 

“I’m not-” Frank had to swallow hard as Gerard had his hand now locked into Frank’s hair, fingertips massaging the back of his scalp. “I’m not gay.” He breathed silently, honestly believing so. 

“Frank, you don’t have to lie, you’re _totally_ gay.” Gerard purred back, pushing his forehead against Frank’s. 

He wanted him to hurry up and kiss him already, Frank’s heart pounding so heavily in his chest it was all he could basically hear, turning his brain to mush. Gerard’s eyes just kept swimming, Frank falling into them as time seemed to slow down by at least half – watching Gerard’s eyelashes fall against his cheeks, his tongue gently dart out to lick his own lips, hand still massaging through Frank’s hair all the while. 

“But that’s okay, I lied to – you’re totally my type.” His voice, it was all Frank could focus on, the way each word was perfectly pronounced, slow syllables sending shivers down his spine. He felt weak at his knees, so needy for this, without even realising. “You sure about this?” He asked, noticing Frank hadn’t responded. “I can stop?” 

Frank shook his head, words not able to come out just yet, watching Gerard smirk as he did. 

“Good. Because I can’t stop thinking about you, either.” 

Frank leant forward into Gerard’s words, letting them consume him, lips only less than a centimetre apart. Their noses fit perfectly together, bodies pressing against one another too, the only part left untouched, Gerard’s stupid, perfect lips. Frank knew he was teasing him, waiting to hear him beg, which Frank was a moment away from doing. But he couldn’t move any closer from the panic he was experiencing, he didn’t really know how he had gotten here, not that he was regretting it in the slightest. 

In Frank’s absence, Gerard moved closer, letting his lips basically dance across Frank’s, placing a small kiss to the side of this mouth, their lips grazing, but nothing more. It was enough to send Frank over the edge.

“Please.” He mewled, hands gripping onto either side of Gerard’s hips, feeling how hard he was, his body betraying him. “Just-” Gerard used his spare hand to press against Frank’s lower back, pushing their bodies closer together still, Frank feeling some much-needed friction. “ _Fuck_.” He moaned, shocked to hear his own voice. 

Gerard smirked uncontrollably, obviously crazy over hearing Frank. “You sound so pretty.” Frank felt this weird lust developing inside him at those words, ‘pretty’ such an odd thing to be called. But his body was enjoying it so much more than he thought he would. “I can’t wait to show you, Frankie, make you feel fucking heaven. Hear you screaming.” 

Frank visibly shivered, of course Gerard would be so demanding in bed, he didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it before. Perfect, teacher’s pet Gerard, dictating Frank’s every move with his grip. He pressed another delicate kiss to the side of Frank’s mouth, this one lasting a little bit longer, Gerard using his hand in Frank’s hair to tilt his head sideways a bit. “Can I kiss you, now?” He teemed, pressing another, and Frank was melting away with every passing second, needing more, needing to finally know what it felt like. “Frankie? Can I kiss your pretty mouth?”

Frank let out a breathy, moan, never wanting this moment to pass, nodding his head slowly before all he felt was lips, wet, and warmth. His eyes fluttered shut, butting his lips against Gerard’s before his tongue pried Frank’s mouth open, granting him access to twist against Frank’s own. It felt so crazy good, never having even kissed someone before, Frank was glad Gerard was so fucking perfect at it. Every part of Frank’s body was singing at Gerard’s touch, feeling himself be directed backwards until he felt his hough hit the back of what he guessed was Gerard’s bed. He didn’t want to pull apart, Gerard directing him down onto the mattress, so he was now straddling on top of him, lips and tongues and mouths still massaging together in pure bliss. 

Frank didn’t know what to do next, his hand making its own way into Gerard’s soft hair, pulling gently, Gerard moaning faintly in response. It awoke something inside Frank, wanting more than anything to hear him moan again. Frank pulled harder, Gerard’s head being wretched back, Frank lifting his own up off the bed to push their kiss even deeper together at the same time. He was now grinding his hips up and down gently against Gerard, pushing himself into his crotch, the pressure from inside his jeans driving him crazy almost. Frank was quietly moaning uncontrollably. Listening to himself, which was quite strange, but he had never felt so much fucking pure ecstasy before – swearing nothing could be better than this in this moment. 

“Frank-” Gerard had to pull away, breathing fast and short. 

“Don’t stop.” Frank whined, pushing his lips back against Gerard’s, forcing his tongue into his mouth first this time. It only lasted a few seconds though, before Gerard had pulled away again. 

“Frank, slow down. You need to think this through.” 

Frank didn’t want to slow down, and he didn’t want to think either, his hand massaging gently into Gerard’s skull as he looked up with hungry brown eyes. Gerard’s hair was falling into Frank’s face, but he didn’t mind, they were stuck entranced in this almost never-ending silence, filled only with their shallowing breathing and heavy heartbeats. 

“I have, this is what I want.” Frank pleaded, wanting his lips back on Gerard’s so desperately. 

“I’m not good for you.” Gerard was shaking his head, a hand moving to push some of Frank’s own hair behind his ear. 

Frank shook his head in response. “You’re _too_ good for me.” He sighed, not understanding how Gerard could think otherwise. If anything, Frank wasn’t good for him. 

Gerard just leant down gently and placed a shallow kiss to Frank’s lips, who mewled in response, wanting it to go deeper. “You should go.” He said sweetly. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” 

Frank felt embarrassed again, wondering why he suddenly had to leave. “Can I stay?” He asked, without being able to stop himself. 

Gerard shook his head, still with this gentle look in his eyes. “Frankie, you need to go home. And think about this. I mean it.” 

Frank had no idea what the big deal was, aside from the obvious, but they could just keep things a secret at school – no problem. Reluctantly, Frank got up, stealing another kiss from Gerard before he headed back downstairs to leave for home. He was sure his hair was an absolute mess when he walked past Gerard’s mum on the way out, but she either didn’t notice, or was too polite to comment. 

Now outside, his mind able to think more clearly, Frank knew he really did want to think this through, glad Gerard seemed to be much more matured and sensible about the situation that he had given him the chance. Still though, he was walking on cloud fucking nine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is something going on with you two?” Mikey asked so casually, but with an unusual tone. "He can't stop talking about you."

Frank hadn’t expected Mikey to come speak to him, he wasn’t even sure if Mikey knew where Frank sat during lunch breaks to come find him in the first place. Yet, here he was, standing awkwardly in front of Frank, who had now chosen a secluded spot under the bleachers to eat. He had slowly started to drift away from his friends, preferring to be alone rather than with Dean, Mitch and the others anyway. 

“Hey, Frank. Can we talk a second?” It was uncharacteristically cold that day, as Frank looked up to see Mikey digging his hands into his pants pockets in an attempt to keep them warm. 

“Yeah, I guess. But I’m not selling anymore.” Frank stated quickly, assuming that was why Mikey had come to find him. 

“No, that’s okay. It’s actually – it’s about Gerard.” 

Frank’s mind flashed back to the last time he had seen Gerard, nearing a week ago now, when they had shared something way too intimate for Frank to share with anyone else. He had promised himself that he was going to talk to Gerard about it at some stage, work out what the fuck was happening, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Frank was slightly embarrassed, and very confused, not knowing if it was a ridiculous spurt of curiosity or if there actually was more to it. He did know he had thought about Gerard almost constantly since then, though. His mind replaying the touch of Gerard’s lips, the taste of his mouth, nightly. 

When Frank didn’t reply, Mikey moved to sit down on the grass next to him, pulling at some of the blades in an attempt to avoid looking at Frank. “Is something going on with you two?” He asked so casually, but with an unusual tone. 

Frank was glad Mikey was picking at the grass, for the blush that crept up his face. “What, what do you mean? Like what?” 

“Frank.” Mikey sighed his name, dusting his hands off on his pants. “He can’t stop talking about you.” 

Frank’s heart froze, hoping Gerard surely wouldn’t share something so personal with his younger brother. Mikey, who was now staring right at Frank, had this sort of dejected look on his face, Frank at least taking comfort in the fact he wasn’t mad. 

“Look. Who you like, it’s none of my business. But who my brother – he doesn’t, he can’t.” Mikey was clearly struggling to find the right words to say. “Gerard’s sick.” He eventually let out, bluntly. 

Frank shrugged a bit, wondering if Gerard had been feeling the same type of sick Frank had been. The weird tightness in his chest, twisting stomach, nervousness. “That’s okay, I have a terrible immune system. If it was contagious, I would have caught it by now.” He nudged Mikey in an attempt to lighten the situation. 

Mikey shook his head. “Gerard is really sick. He – Frank, he has cancer.” 

Frank had to stop everything he was doing to make sure he heard what Mikey had said correctly. “He what?” 

“I’m sure he was going to tell you, eventually. He doesn’t want people to be weird about it. But he’s had it most his life. He’s stopped responding to treatment.” Even though Mikey was not crying, Frank, who felt like he was going to vomit, could tell he was being sincere. 

“No.” Was all he could say in response. “I don’t – what do you mean?” Frank didn’t really understand, his hands now balling up into fists on their own accord. “Where is he?” Frank wanted to see Gerard, ask him if it was true. 

“Frank, he doesn’t have friends, doesn’t make friends. He’s used to being on his own.” Mikey wasn’t threatening Frank, but he knew what he was alluding to. 

There was an uncomfortable silence that fell over the pair, kids screaming from whatever lunch time activities they were indulging in and a few birds flying above, all that disrupted it. Not long after, Mikey moved to get back up.

Frank, who really couldn’t bare it, stood up with him, grabbing Mikey’s shoulder to turn him around. “I don’t care.” He said, brazen. “I don’t care if he’s got cancer.” 

“Well you should.” Mikey snapped. “What happens when you're done with whatever you think you’re playing at? What happens when you and your friends want to make fun of him again? You don’t understand-”

“Then help me!” 

Mikey just shook his head, his eyes now starting to water. “He doesn’t need another reason to be angry with the world.”

Frank let the words sink over him, not really sure if he fully knew what they meant. He eventually let Mikey walk away, his mind swimming with too many thoughts for him to handle. He couldn’t go back to eating, he couldn’t go back to class, and he sure as hell couldn’t go back to his friends. He felt sick, a new, different kind of sick. One where it felt like the bottom of his stomach had dropped through the floor and the inside of his brain was static mush. Frank just decided to run, only realising about halfway there, that his mind had subconsciously taken him towards the nurse’s wing. He wasn’t looking where he was going, just running and trying so hard to keep whatever vomit he felt inside from coming up, whether it was word vomit or actual vomit, Frank wasn’t sure. He could hardly see, the outside areas of his vision this weird, blurry grey, voices from other people occupying the halls sounding as if Frank was listening to them from underwater. Was he having a panic attack? A pair of hands gripped his shoulders, grounding Frank as he looked up to meet their eyes. 

“Frank? What’s the hurry? Everything alright?” 

Frank had this strange urge to cry but refused to let himself do so. He didn’t want to be weak, and besides, why would Frank be crying? Gerard was the one with cancer, not him. “S-sorry, Principal Chan. Everything’s fine.” Frank all but stuttered. 

“You look positively faint.” He assured the young boy, placing the back of his hand against Frank’s forehead. 

“I was on my way to the nurse.” Frank butted in, really just wishing he could be home in bed right now. 

The principal, retreating his hand, nodded curtly. “I think that is a good idea.” 

The next thing Frank knew, he was in his mum’s car, having been picked up from school. She had refused to let Frank ride the bus, worried he would faint or be sick, and left work early to come get him. 

“I hope you didn’t catch anything from school.” She tutted, holding a hand to Frank’s forehead herself once they had both buckled up. 

Frank sat in silence for most of the drive, unable to talk for the shock he was experiencing. Cancer wasn’t something teenagers had. It was an older person disease; his grandfather didn’t even have cancer, hell, Frank didn’t even know _anyone_ who had cancer. 

“Frank? Are you listening to me?” 

Frank blinked back into reality, keeping his gaze out the passenger side window. “Mum, how do people get cancer?” 

Frank’s mum, eyes on the road, adjusted her grip on the steering wheel and shook her head. “Frank, you don’t have cancer. Although I have warned you to stop smoking those disgusting cigarettes, who knows, one day when you’re much older, you could get lung cancer.” She reprimanded. 

_Older_ “I don’t think I have cancer. How do young people get cancer? Like kids, teenagers.” 

He knew she wouldn’t know what to say. How could she? She had raised Frank in a Catholic household, explaining that God had a reason for everything and that he had to trust in him and his ways. “Frank, what is this all about?” She sighed, as they finally pulled up into their driveway. “Did something happen at school? Are they teaching you about cancer in biology?” 

Frank shrugged, before shaking his head. “I don’t know, I was just thinking.” He didn’t really feel like talking about, and also wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to. It was Gerard’s decision who knew about it, wondering if he’d be mad at his brother for telling Frank in the first place. 

Later that afternoon, after a well-needed nap, Frank woke up to message on his phone, from Gerard. 

_Hey. Do you wanna talk?_ Was all it said, Frank’s fingers shaking slightly as he replied. 

_It’s okay, there’s nothing to talk about._ He included a little smiley face to show he wasn’t angry. Frank didn’t really want to talk, he thought it’d be awkward. They hadn’t even addressed what happened between them last time they were together, and to now have to ask all these questions about Gerard’s cancer? Frank would have just preferred to ignore it all until it went away. 

_How about a cigarette then? Meet you at the park?_

Frank’s stomach flipped, he felt disgusted by cigarettes at that moment, wondering if he had only made Gerard’s cancer worse by even smoking around him. Still, he couldn’t deny the crave for nicotine his body felt, and he did know how much they helped him de-stress. 

The walk to the park was equal distances from both Frank and Gerard’s house, the pair arriving almost simultaneously. Despite school now being out, the park was still deserted, as it always was, something Frank was extremely grateful for. 

He stood in silence in front of Gerard, not knowing what the hell he was even meant to do, nodding his head a little when Gerard gave a mumbled hello. 

“Look.” He sighed, after an extricating period of silence. “Mikey – I told him not to say anything. I was going to tell you, if you stuck around. What’s the point of me telling everyone I meet if they’re not going to be around after a week or two?” Frank didn’t reply, although he could clearly see Gerard’s point. “It’s exhausting having to explain it. And no one understands, they always have a million questions, or treat me like I’m different. Well, different than they already do.” 

Frank was kind of under the impression Gerard must have had to tell countless numbers of people over his lifetime, even perhaps at ages when he himself didn’t understand what was going on. “It doesn’t bother me.” Frank shrugged. He wasn’t sure it was the right thing to say, why would cancer _bother_ anyone? “Is that why you don’t have any friends?” It was only after he had said it, that Frank realised it was slightly insensitive. 

Gerard smiled though. “Geeze, thanks. Kinda thought you were my friend, sorta.” His hand rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke, obviously awkward to say it. “It’s fine, I’m fine with my life.” 

Frank rolled his eyes, watching the boy in front of him, unable to help the smile that grew on his own face in return. Frank admired how content he was with his life. How his hands moved when he spoke, how his hair fell from behind his ear no matter how many times he tucked it back, how perfect his nose was and gorgeous his eyes were. Frank had never admired someone so fucking much. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am.” 

After another silence, Gerard sat down on the bench they had both shared the last time they were here. Facing inwards towards the table and drumming lightly on the metal top. “You gonna have a smoke?” 

Frank sat down with him, a guilty expression slipping across his face. Would it be rude? He could definitely use something to calm his nerves. 

Gerard smirked and raised his right eyebrow. “I’ve already _got_ cancer, Frank.” He laughed, lightening the mood a little. 

Still though, Frank thought better of it, knowing it would be a bit insensitive to smoke away his healthy lungs when Gerard was sitting less than a foot from him. “I know you said, people always ask questions, but can I ask a question?” Frank was embarrassed, he knew nothing about cancer, although he felt a bit relieved he never had the need to, he also felt a bit ignorant. “What kind of cancer do you have?”

Gerard shrugged. “Leukemia.” 

Frank nodded his head, he had no idea what type of cancer that was, hoping he’d know how to spell it to google it later. “How long have you had it?” 

Gerard smirked. “That’s two questions.” Frank opened his mouth to apologise, he didn’t want Gerard to have to explain everything to him, but he just wanted to know. He couldn’t comprehend how it would feel to know you had cancer. “Like 5 years or something. Since I was twelve.” 

“But you can still do normal stuff?” Frank was sort of fascinated by it, he had always imagined cancer patients living in a hospital, unable to walk or talk or barely eat. 

“I’ve been on treatment my whole life; it helps manage the symptoms. But-” Gerard looked away, towards the old, rusty playground. “I’ve stopped responding to them now.” 

Frank wanted to do something, say something, to fix it, but there wasn’t anything he could. “I-I’m sorry?” He offered as if that would make everything better.

“Frank, you don’t have to be sorry. But you can stop talking about it.” Gerard laughed. “I just try and live my life, help other people, take my mind of everything.” 

Frank guessed that must be why Gerard spent so much time volunteering, he felt a bit worse now knowing he had almost got him kicked out of the program as he had been. Frank wanted to next ask how long Gerard had to live, although he winced at himself at the thought of it. He didn’t want to force Gerard to think about that. Instead, he just stood up and offered out his hand. “Come on, you wanna go watch The Phantom Menace?” 

 

As the school days went by, Frank came to learn that, aside from October and December, April was probably the best month of the year. Not only was spring break coming up in the middle of April, but Gerard’s birthday was also in April and Frank had got him the coolest present he could think of. The look on Gerard’s face when he tore open the paper to see an unopened 1979 Boba Fett figurine was only beat by the look on his face when Frank had told him when his own birthday was. Gerard had only asked so he could start looking for an equally awesome present to get Frank, positively telling Frank that _no one was born on Halloween_. Frank, who also thought it was the coolest thing ever, couldn’t stop smiling. It was days like this that Frank swore Gerard completely forget he had cancer, that he was just a normal teenager, doing normal teenage things. 

“Frank, this is seriously one of the coolest presents ever. Must have cost you so much fucking money.” Gerard was flipping the box over, reading every part of the packaging. 

They were sitting down on Gerard’s bed, some birthday snacks, and now wrapping paper, sprawled across the sheets. Frank was just glad Gerard had liked the present, not that he thought he wouldn’t, but it was really the first time he had gone to any effort of getting a present for a friend and he wanted it to be special. Their knees were pressed up against each other, Frank peering over Gerard’s lap to also read over the box as Gerard did. 

“So fucking cool.” He muttered to himself once more. 

Frank raised his head to meet Gerard’s gaze, falling comfortably into his eyes. “I’m glad you like it.” He smiled big, eyes darting to Gerard’s equally goofy smile. Frank was aware of his heart rate elevating, and tried to push it down. They hadn’t been this close in a while, neither of the two ever mentioning anything about the kiss they shared a month ago probably out of embarrassment and also confusion. It was just better to forget about it, they were much closer in friendship now, Frank happy he had someone to hang out with that actually enjoyed other things than smoking weed and getting detentions. Not to mention Frank’s parents were also so pleasantly pleased Frank was no longer hanging out with those other boys, even if it did mean he spent an awful amount of time either in his room with Gerard, or sleeping over at the Way’s – okay, so pretty much all of his time was spent with Gerard now. But Gerard didn’t smoke, didn’t mess up in school and had even help Frank pull up his science grades, so his parents were not going to complain. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Gerard sighed, placing the box back on the bed behind him, his hand moving to fall onto Frank’s knee. 

They were sitting cross-legging facing each other, Frank not even flinching under Gerard’s touch. He shrugged, as Gerard’s thumb began to rub soothing circles over Frank’s clothed knee. It sent tingles up his spine, caused the hairs on his arms to stand up, his breath to almost hitch in his throat. “I wanted to.” 

Gerard was leaning in, his eyes pulling Frank towards him. “Thank you.” He said quietly, almost a whisper, before fully closing the gap between them. Their second kiss was no less magical than the first, Frank closing his eyes and letting Gerard’s lips massage against his own. His stomach turned to butterflies when he felt the strangely familiar sensation of Gerard opening his mouth slightly to let his tongue meet Frank’s. It was only a short kiss but heated nonetheless, before Gerard had pulled away, looking faintly withdrawn. 

“You didn’t have too…” Frank trailed off, eyes locked onto Gerard’s lips and his tongue as it quickly darted out to lick the salvia caught there. 

“I wanted to.” He hardly shrugged, Frank well aware of what he was playing at. 

Frank just smiled in return, jumping abruptly when the bedroom door was pushed open.

“Mum said dinner is ready.” It was Mikey, standing there, oblivious to what he had only just missed. “Hurry up so then we can have cake.” 

 

Their third kiss, if possible, was better than Frank could have ever possibly conceived, the pair rugged up in their warmer jackets, laying down in the dewy grass of the nearby park during Spring break. They had been laughing and annoying each other, Frank 'refusing' to be able to see any of the cloud shapes Gerard had been pointing out. He guessed Gerard just had a better imagination than him, but Frank swore if he squinted really hard he was able to see the grizzly bear, but definitely not the pirate ship or Optimus Prime Transformer. 

“How can you not see it!?” Gerard groaned, sitting up next to Frank, who would have rather he continued to lay down. 

“Wait, well if I sorta close one eye-” Frank covered his left eye with his left hand, looking up and the clouds. “Hmm. Nah, still nothing.” He laughed. 

“What about when you shut both your eyes?” 

Frank rolled his in response. “Well, obviously, definitely still nothing.” 

Gerard, with his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them, turned his head to the side to look and smile down at Frank. “Just do it, you dork.” He sighed. 

Frank obliged, placing both hands over his eyes. Even with them shut, he could still see the outline of where the sun would be once he opened them – a shadow moving across to eclipse it fully. “Yep, like I thought. Noth-” Frank’s sentence was cut short by the feeling of wet against his lips, pulling his hands away to see Gerard now leaning over him. Kissing him. Frank kicked himself to kiss back, the sudden shock subsiding. His hands, which were lying idly by his side now, subconsciously made their way up into Gerard’s hair, entwining themselves together and he pulled Gerard down closer into the kiss. 

Frank brushed his tongue up against Gerard’s bottom lip, hinting he wanted a taste, Gerard recognising and opening his mouth wide enough for their tongues to finally meet inside Frank’s mouth. He felt Gerard shifting, his body moving, a warmth then pressed against his lower stomach as he straddled over Frank. The air felt so crisp and clean, and Frank could taste every part of Gerard, who was now rubbing his hands up and down Frank’s sides, fingers delicately dancing as he went. They were both oblivious to their physical surroundings, the pure bliss taking them somewhere far away, somewhere Frank never wanted to leave. 

“Mm, fuck.” He managed to sigh out, wondering why he had waited so long between their last kiss to do this again. 

Gerard pulled away, smiling goofily over Frank. “Hey.” He breathed, as if he hadn’t just been making out with him seconds earlier. 

“Hey.” Frank replied, pulling at the skin on his own lip. “What was that for?” Frank watched as Gerard shrugged his shoulders and pulled his leg over to get up. “I didn’t mean to stop.” He cleared his throat, before grabbing Gerard by the collar of his jacket, to pull him back down. 

Gerard hovered a tiny kiss over his lips, basically a whisper. “Not here.” He teased another kiss, Frank taking his chance to pull him in closer and slip his tongue between his lips again. For a moment, Gerard gave in, letting Frank take control and hold him against his chest. It was only when he could begin to feel the coldness from the earth below seeping through his jeans, making his knees wet, that he pulled away again. 

“My – my parents are out.” Frank had to catch his breath. He didn’t want this to be ignored like usual, he wanted to take Gerard back home right now and force his mouth all over him. 

He wasn’t sure how he had managed to keep his hands off Gerard for the entire walk back, but as soon as they were back in the house, up the flight of stairs and into Frank’s room, Gerard had him pushed up against his closed bedroom door, hands pulling at his hair. 

“Frankie.” It was almost a moan, causing Frank to feel weak at the knees. “I don’t – I don’t think we should.” He said, leaning in for a kiss nonetheless. 

Frank tried his hardest to give him everything he had, to make Gerard change his mind. Tongue and lips and hands working all over Gerard to show him that they really _should_. He guessed it must have been working, feeling Gerard’s hands now sliding into his jacket and off of Frank’s shoulders to the floor. Next, he was working at Frank’s belt, his delicate fingers slipping the strap through the buckle to provide access to his pants. Once they were open, Frank felt his stomach flip, Gerard’s hands slipping beneath his waistband, an unusual sensation for Frank to feel. Sure, he had done it plenty of time to himself before, but for someone else’s hands to be there now, his body suddenly didn’t know what to do. He guessed Gerard had done this a hundred times already, he was gay after all, and definitely seemed to know what he was doing – the thought actually turning Frank on more than it should have. “Wait.” He choked out. 

Gerard pulled back, sheepishly. “Is something – something wrong?” 

Frank let his head fall back against the door, shutting his eyes and letting out a deep breath he didn’t realise he had been holding in. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve never-”

“Never done this before? Frankie, it’s just the same as with a girl. Only, I promise I’ll do it better.” Gerard had this gorgeous way of being so seductive that, from an outside perspective, would never have been guessed. 

Frank winced, opening one eye to look up at Gerard. 

“Wait, never, like never?” Frank shook his head. “Never, ever? Not even with a girl?” Frank shook his head again, his cheeks flushing bright red, he could tell. “Just relax, Frankie. I’m very good at it. You’ll like it, I promise.” Gerard leant back in, distracting Frank with a deep and messy kiss, steadily guiding him towards Frank’s bed. 

Once he reached it, Frank was pushed back onto it, his head finding his own pillow before Gerard was straight back on top. The way he was looking at Frank, eyes all hungry, lip caught between his teeth, was definitely doing things to Frank. His lips were then at Frank’s throat, sucking and biting, Frank calling out in desire. “Gerard. That feels so _good_.” He had never had someone suck on his neck before, this crazy sensitive spot just below his ear driving him crazy every time Gerard went near it. 

In the distraction, Gerard’s hand had made their way back to Frank’s pants, lifting his stomach off of Frank’s so he could slip his hands underneath, back to his waistband. Frank’s stomach hitched in uncontrollably at the feeling, tingles running through his pelvis and towards his now fully hard cock. 

“Mmm, Frank. You’re telling me-” Frank let out a tiny wine once Gerard had his hand wrapped around him. “That bad boy like you-” He kept pausing midway through his sentences to slowly stroke Frank up and down. It felt crazy good, like _better_ than when Frank did it to himself, and all he had to do was lay there too, the pet name Gerard had chosen causing his dick to pulse in his touch a little. “Has never, ever, had a hand job before?” After that, Gerard began sliding up and down Frank’s cock more rhythmically, all the way from the base, to the very top, gliding any precum that had formed back down to provide some lubrication. 

Frank couldn’t help but just lay there, his head thrown back, stars in his eyes, letting the sensation of Gerard getting him off wash over him entirely. “Fuck.” He moaned, too embarrassed to open his eyes and see himself like this. His breath was short and sharp, toes curling over and calf muscles tensing. 

“I guess you’re not really a bad boy?” Gerard began to move down Frank, his mouth now so close to where he was religiously pumping. He placed a kiss to Frank’s hip bone, causing him to buck up uncontrollably. “You’re not really a bad boy, huh?” He soothed, running kisses over Frank’s pelvis. 

It felt so good he wanted to cry. “C-call me – call me a brat.” Frank stuttered, feeling like all his fantasies were coming to life. 

He felt Gerard smirk against his skin. “You are a fucking brat, aren’t you?” 

Frank couldn’t help but let go at that, giving out a slutty moan and not even caring that he had. Gerard moaned back, Frank wondering how he could be so turned on just from hearing Frank. “Ugh, you sound so fucking good.” He keened, hand never leaving Frank’s cock.

Frank couldn’t help but let out another when he felt Gerard’s lips on the base of his cock, sucking onto the side as his hand pumped above it. “I want you to come for me, you little brat.” Gerard demanded, lips kissing and sucking until they found their way to Frank’s balls, taking one in his mouth and then the other. 

“F-f-fuck!” Frank cried, arching his back to only further push his cock into Gerard’s grip. “I’m gonna fucking come.” 

Gerard moaned in approval, pulling back as he stroked Frank a few more times before he was writhing in ecstasy below him, mouth held open, the most gorgeous moan escaping him. Gerard didn’t know whether to watch his face or to watch his cock as he rode out his orgasm to the very end. 

Once he had, and Frank was brought back down from his high, he suddenly felt very vulnerable, urging Gerard’s hand off of his limp cock. He wasn’t really sure what to do. He knew Gerard was equally hard as Frank had just been, could feel him pressed against his leg, but didn’t think he could go through with actually doing anything to help about it. 

Gerard, who seemed to notice, rolled to lay beside Frank, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s okay.” He laughed. “Maybe next time.” 

God, he hoped Gerard didn’t think Frank regretted it.


End file.
